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Best ways to find an accountability partner (a buddy)

By Darren Finkelstein
By Darren Finkelstein

The Accountability Guy®

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Accountability Partner

10 of the Best ways to find an accountability partner

You can’t do it alone

A study* in the USA was undertaken and found out that the probability of completing your goal is:

After reading this, how likely are you to achieve your; goals, promises, obligations and commitments alone?

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Discover your Accountability Score and increase the probability of smashing your GOALS and Getting Sh!t Done!

Where to start?

1. Don’t use a friend or family member.

This never works and always ends badly. There are too many patterns to deal with, too much emotional involvement, and in general, they aren’t committed to you changing. Start with someone new who’s committed to change as well and is ready to introduce changes in their lifestyle.

2. Choose someone working on the same or similar goal.

Working with people trying to achieve the same goals adds an extra layer of motivation and inspiration to help you get your plans off the ground.

3. Plan and Set

  • A regular time to connect
  • How you’ll connect
  • Put it in your calendar
  • Fulfil your commitments.

It’s better to plan, schedule and execute in an organized and committed manner. Putting your routine on the calendar helps you plan and visualize your activities for better follow up.

4. If your buddy starts to disappear or misses a scheduled time more than once – politely end the partnership.

Sometimes, partnerships don’t really work out. When you designate a partner to help you achieve your goals, making sure they help you remain on track is as important as making sure your partner remains committed as well. If your partner isn’t pulling their weight and seems to be flaking out, it’s better to politely end the partnership and find someone as equally motivated as you are. Remember, YOU are in charge of your progress.

5. Choose One Thing to work on.

I can’t tell you how many people want to work on everything all at once and they fail. I’m guilty of this too (thank you ADHD), but it’s a fail. If you’re looking to build sustainable habits, choose one habit at a time.

You can choose one habit one week, and another the next week, but people who say, “I want to work out three times this week, read 4 hours a day, cook dinner for myself and my friend etc. etc.”, will fail. It’s a bad use of an accountability partner, because no one wants to hear a litany of things you did or didn’t do. The only way to ensure clarity is by working towards a singular motive.

6. Make your habit *tiny.*

Taking in difficult activities from the start ends up creating negative resistance in your brain. After a while, the feedback loop from this resistance will leave you unable to commit. Keeping your habits and goals small and achievable helps you build up your confidence for bigger and bigger gains. And more importantly, it helps you stay motivated, with positive reinforcement after every small success being automatically planted in your brain.

7. Communication: Base all your communication around positive reinforcement.

Positive reinforcement goes a long way. Keeping in mind your eventual goal, it’s better to take on tasks as they come, one at a time, to build up that much needed positive reinforcement.

This doesn’t mean everyone is wonderful and everything is good. This means every step in the right direction towards your goals should be rewarded.

Thought about going to the gym today? = Good job! Started walking towards the door to the gym? = Great work!

If you have resistance towards your goal, even thinking about your habit counts and should be reinforced. Then you can build on that. We need that positive reinforcement for the things that are difficult.

8. Set a length of time for your check-ins.

If you use the phone or Zoom or some sort of voice or video check in system set a *firm* time frame for the conversation: say 30-minutes, or whatever you think you need. Treat it as a deadline so you convey what you need within that time frame. It’s interesting how when setting appointments between two people we feel comfortable setting start times, but less so setting end times. There’s a psychological component of what the length of time says about how you think about the person etc., but for now, as you set up the rules for your partnership, set a time frame up at the beginning.

9. Adjust accordingly.

All these elements should be adjusted to suit your needs as you work together. If you connect daily, perhaps you discover you only need to connect twice a week. if you speak for ten minutes a day, maybe you realize you only need five. See what’s working for *you*, and if each partner is responsible for their own needs and articulates them clearly – you’ll be well on your way to a successful partnership and greater clarity in your life.

10. Remember: Nothing is permanent.

You can always change your plans, your goals, and even your partner if you find they are not working for you. This process is about self-growth, learning what inspires you and gives you energy to keep moving forward. In the end you want to make sure you are gaining something significant from the process of working towards your goals.


Accountability ensures that we present a pro-active approach towards life and helps us build trust within ourselves and with others. In conclusion, accountability not only teaches us how to become a better person for ourselves but also helps us bring positivity and benefits to those around us. It is the best way to bring management to our daily lives by assessing the impact of our thoughts, decisions, and actions upon ourselves and everyone else and by understanding that we are answerable and responsible for our deeds.

You can’t do this alone. To be truly accountable, it requires the involvement of an accountability buddy, so go find yourself one ASAP, they will make a world of difference and increase your probability of you attaining your goal to a massive 95%, now that’s game changing.

It’s 2020, time to up your game so engage me ‘The Accountability Guy’ to be your accountability buddy, after all that’s what I do. With my client satisfaction score of 97.8, I’m really good at what I do and you’ll hit the results you are looking for and you’ll get those outcomes you need for your business.
Don’t waste this time; accountability increases opportunity and opportunity is where I’ve always made money.